The concluding dialogue of Luck By Chance was "Everyone choses success or failure, happiness or sadness". This made me think for hours. Did I chose my present state of mind? May be yes.
My life 2 yrs ago and my life now...what a hell lot of a difference!! And the reason for this difference is a few wrong decisions, a few wrong choices and an unclear state of mind.And all this is still continuing.
2 yrs ago, whenever I asked my heart and mind what I wanted in life, I always got an answer. Now when I ask my heart and mind, there never comes a clear answer. And immediately after taking a decision, there's a lull, my heart beat increases and my mind is flooded with questions like will it be right...what if this does not materialize...what if the other option was a better one...what if i m a loser at the end...instead of choosing from options I get trapped in them and lose my peace of mind...and thus day by day my life is becoming a mess.
With each passing day, I am forced to make more decisions and with each decision comes more of doubts and more of uncertainty and more of unhappiness. Earlier I used to believe that even if I have not chosen the best, I can make my choice to be the best for me. Now this seems to me a distant dream. And all these decisions have accumulated so much of sadness in me that the burden is killing me day by day. I want to throw out all sadness from within but am unable to find a way out.
But to avoid the same mistakes in future I should know my mistakes. The biggest mistakes of my life are :
Trying to make all my close ones happy - None of our actions can make all happy so it's worthless trying to make all happy. In the end of it, it's you who are most unhappy and dissatisfied.
Not being firm on what I want - Since childhood I had never been one of those kids who will do all possible tantrums to get a thing. I used to try for it once or twice and then be at peace with whatever I have. But now I realize, we have to be adamant if we really want something. Else the world will try to crush your dreams.
Being too accommodative about everything - I used to be satisfied with whatever I have if it makes someone else happy. But over a period of time, it just accumulates into sadness and hopelessness. Now I would fight with full enthusiasm to get what I want and would not be contended by anything less than that.
Believing that there's always a middle way - If you want something, then you have to decide on it and tread on that path come what may. If you try to find some middle way which would not involve too many radical reactions, then you are only fooling yourself. This is what I was trying to do all these times in my personal as well as professional life. Now I would not look for middle ways, it's either this way or that way.
It seems couple of my mistakes have already slipped out of my mind. Will continue to update this list as and when things happen and would try to make maximum out of it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
completely agree.
i guess ppl hv to reach a level of maturity where they respect another person even if their views don't match..
but yes, the theory of the golden mean sucks!! i'v also learnt that in most cases, there's jus black or white..not much good can come out of a grey!
good that you have realised it and now you shall be working towards it.. still ppl like me are stuck with whatever you have said... let's see if i cud finally come out of it or not... probably what is required are few decisions which come out to be correct and ppl appreciating it, to boost the same confidence back in yourself... Wish it comes soon and added to it shall be ppl who believe in you and make you feel YOURSELF... think u can elaborate on it sometime later...
Post a Comment