I think my employers have found out my deepest secrets which only three people knew earlier. I don’t know who has let the cat out of the bag but somehow this fact is haunting me now. So I will tell you the entire story and it’s your responsibility now to help me find the culprit.
It had started some 22 years back. My parents’ day long discussions had gone in vain. They had wasted hours guessing (or rather fighting) whether I will say “Ma/mamma/mummy” or “papa/daddy” as my first words. But to everyone’s surprise, the first words which I had uttered at the tender age of 1 were “CREDIT” and “DEBIT”.
From that moment started my ordeal. Every other second my mom would force words like “beta say mamma” to my ears and without wasting a second I would say “Credit”. Pitying on my condition, my father would try his luck every now and then and plead me to say “papa or even daddy would do” but I said “Debit”!! My parents committed a blunder there by not recognizing the prodigy. After being subjected to prolonged mental torture and strong influences day and night, I finally uttered “ma”. But then this had left a very damaging effect on my brain. I almost forgot those two words and developed an aversion strong enough not to utter these two words till last Monday.
And now after 22 years the situation is something like this. My bosses are telling me to say “Credit” and “Debit” and each time the only words coming to my mind are “ma bachao” and “papa bachao”!!!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Sare jahan se acha Hindustan humara
Day: 16th Dec (coincides with one of the movies!!)
Venue: marina beach
Time: 1530 (IST)
For the first time in my life I was getting a VIP pass for some event. So I was very excited to be a part of this event. I had already received the VIP pass a couple of times in my dreams last night. The excitement of getting a VIP pass was a motivation good enough to wake me up by 9 (that too a sun morning!!). I just wanted to be seated in that special row as soon as possible. After a couple of calls it was decided that I will get my pass at around 1530 and the show was to start from 1630. Being an Indian from the core of my heart, I reached that place by 1550 (was actually glad that I was not much late). The sight of blue board with “NAVAL DISPLAY” brought a smile on our faces and finally I was handed my passes. We made ourselves comfortable in the “special front rows”.
Marina beach had a completely new look and we were awed to see this “clean, stink free, organized” beach with a hep crowd. And now we eagerly waited for the chief guest for the evening which would mark the start of the great evening. Surprisingly the chief guest “His Excellency, the governor of Tamil Nadu” (these words were repeated by the commentator umpteen times during that 30 mins) graced us by his presence sharp at 1630. We all stood up for the National Anthem and then suddenly I was filled with shame. I realized I was listening to it after 5-6 years and that I had forgotten a few words in between.
The display started by the formation of the great naval ships (there were some 8 of them). This show is a must for our Indian cricket commentators to know and learn what commentary is. The running commentary (both in English and Tamil) doubled the pleasure of this display. One by one the different INS (sorry, due to my pea sized brain I don’t remember the exact names) sailed with pride in front of us. And then the various sea warfare techniques like blowing up an oil rig, securing the beach head, were showed.
Marine commandos come in a Gemini and secure the beach of the enemies aided by covered attacks. The continuous firing by the commandos brought a chill in our spine but hardly did anyone of us know that this was nothing in comparison to what was to come.
We heard the words “look backwards” and we were taken aback to see four aircrafts come towards us. It was the Sagar Pawan Aerobatics team (only a few countries have such an aerobatics team). And during the next 20 mins everyone was on their toes turning left and right following the commentator’s “and left now” , “something on right”etc.At this moment I regreted my bunks from the march past practise which we used to have at school. Because everytime the commentator said "and here's something waiting for you in the left", I turned right ( & turned left when asked to turn right) and missed a few seconds of the fly. Thankfully people were awed by the aerobatics and no one had the time to notice me making a fool of myself!!The aircrafts performed breath taking aerobatics which included events like coming for head on collisions from opposite directions and turning just in the last minute, forming a heart (with a cupid’s arrow too!!) with its multicolored trailing fumes, sharp turns and a very low flying over us. They left the entire crowd mesmerized.
The fly past included the Indian Navy choppers like Chetak, Kamov, Dornier and IL76( the biggest of them). The STIE ( Short Team Insertion & Extraction) operation which is carried out to drop commandos to destroy the enemies and then rescue them, was equally fascinating.
All this while I longed to hear my bhaiya’s name from the commentator; wish he was also here.Finally towards the end of the Display, the Navy Band marched in front of the dais in unison and played some marching tunes. The Navy flag was then slowly pulled down and the the band marched back playing the popular martial tune "Saare Jahan Se Achcha". This was followed by the illumination (lighting up of all ships) and the fireworks which is used to attract the crowd’s attention while the chief guest and other VIPs leave.
Thus ended my most happening evening in Chennai. Special thanks to my bhaiya Lt Cdr Praveen Kr Sinha. It was a great change from my dull and boring evenings here and I enjoyed every second of it. And above all it gave me something to write upon too!!
P.S: I tried my level best to present this special event but due to my short term memory and incapability to remember names and minute details, I could not do justice to this great and memorable evening.
Venue: marina beach
Time: 1530 (IST)
For the first time in my life I was getting a VIP pass for some event. So I was very excited to be a part of this event. I had already received the VIP pass a couple of times in my dreams last night. The excitement of getting a VIP pass was a motivation good enough to wake me up by 9 (that too a sun morning!!). I just wanted to be seated in that special row as soon as possible. After a couple of calls it was decided that I will get my pass at around 1530 and the show was to start from 1630. Being an Indian from the core of my heart, I reached that place by 1550 (was actually glad that I was not much late). The sight of blue board with “NAVAL DISPLAY” brought a smile on our faces and finally I was handed my passes. We made ourselves comfortable in the “special front rows”.
Marina beach had a completely new look and we were awed to see this “clean, stink free, organized” beach with a hep crowd. And now we eagerly waited for the chief guest for the evening which would mark the start of the great evening. Surprisingly the chief guest “His Excellency, the governor of Tamil Nadu” (these words were repeated by the commentator umpteen times during that 30 mins) graced us by his presence sharp at 1630. We all stood up for the National Anthem and then suddenly I was filled with shame. I realized I was listening to it after 5-6 years and that I had forgotten a few words in between.
The display started by the formation of the great naval ships (there were some 8 of them). This show is a must for our Indian cricket commentators to know and learn what commentary is. The running commentary (both in English and Tamil) doubled the pleasure of this display. One by one the different INS (sorry, due to my pea sized brain I don’t remember the exact names) sailed with pride in front of us. And then the various sea warfare techniques like blowing up an oil rig, securing the beach head, were showed.
Marine commandos come in a Gemini and secure the beach of the enemies aided by covered attacks. The continuous firing by the commandos brought a chill in our spine but hardly did anyone of us know that this was nothing in comparison to what was to come.
We heard the words “look backwards” and we were taken aback to see four aircrafts come towards us. It was the Sagar Pawan Aerobatics team (only a few countries have such an aerobatics team). And during the next 20 mins everyone was on their toes turning left and right following the commentator’s “and left now” , “something on right”etc.At this moment I regreted my bunks from the march past practise which we used to have at school. Because everytime the commentator said "and here's something waiting for you in the left", I turned right ( & turned left when asked to turn right) and missed a few seconds of the fly. Thankfully people were awed by the aerobatics and no one had the time to notice me making a fool of myself!!The aircrafts performed breath taking aerobatics which included events like coming for head on collisions from opposite directions and turning just in the last minute, forming a heart (with a cupid’s arrow too!!) with its multicolored trailing fumes, sharp turns and a very low flying over us. They left the entire crowd mesmerized.
The fly past included the Indian Navy choppers like Chetak, Kamov, Dornier and IL76( the biggest of them). The STIE ( Short Team Insertion & Extraction) operation which is carried out to drop commandos to destroy the enemies and then rescue them, was equally fascinating.
All this while I longed to hear my bhaiya’s name from the commentator; wish he was also here.Finally towards the end of the Display, the Navy Band marched in front of the dais in unison and played some marching tunes. The Navy flag was then slowly pulled down and the the band marched back playing the popular martial tune "Saare Jahan Se Achcha". This was followed by the illumination (lighting up of all ships) and the fireworks which is used to attract the crowd’s attention while the chief guest and other VIPs leave.
Thus ended my most happening evening in Chennai. Special thanks to my bhaiya Lt Cdr Praveen Kr Sinha. It was a great change from my dull and boring evenings here and I enjoyed every second of it. And above all it gave me something to write upon too!!
P.S: I tried my level best to present this special event but due to my short term memory and incapability to remember names and minute details, I could not do justice to this great and memorable evening.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Warning: Read it at your own risk !!
I know I have become dull and boring and serious. I am no longer a fun person to talk to, no longer does any one want to chat with me, and no longer does any one want to read my blogs. But it’s not my fault entirely. What do I do when there are absolutely no great evenings/days to talk about, no humorous incidents to write about, no fun in life to share with you, no recent achievements (professional as well as personal) which I am proud of and can boast about it? What do I say to you when you crib about being alone in a city where you know so many people ,when I myself am in a city where I know just 2 other guys? What do I say to you when you crib about being over burdened by work, when I have been given absolutely no work and no reason to justify my salary since last three months? What do I say to you when you have an exotic lunch & crib about overspending, when I don’t even have an option of eating decent food? What do I do when I want to make you smile by my posts but end up with a post like this??
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's all a matter of time
Hey people, please don’t call the police. I know I have committed a heinous crime but then the circumstances forced me to do so. My parents had never ever imagined in their weirdest of dreams that their daughter will become a murder some day. But it’s true. I have KILLED time. I have been killing time since two months @ 10 hours a day. And now I know what IT professionals are paid for.
In spite of the “stringent IT policies” almost all IT professionals (esp. consultants) do the same set of things at office. They check all their mail accounts every two minutes hoping that some of their counterparts would have forwarded a mail. Thanks to numerous proxies, chatting is still considered to be one of the favorite time pass. They buzz every person online and in very desperate situations send offline messages also. Some intellectuals among us also rack their brains in solving online puzzles. People of this league have klueless mornings, klueless afternoons and klueless evenings!!
Some furzi consultants like me read novels as PDF so that the client thinks you are racking your brain with some user guide or implementation manual. Some other intellectual consultants keep themselves updated with the latest happenings round the globe. Other esteemed ways of killing time are downloading songs, checking daily horoscope, searching for status messages etc.
A couple of precious office hours are also reserved for managing the hard earned money. Share market, online investments, online bill payments, internet banking form an integral part of work. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. So after all these tiring hours of surfing, consultants add some spice to their office life by conducting meetings. And thus another couple of hours fly by. And if still some time is left, people like me update their blogs.
P.S : A couple of words are borrowed from Tushar's repository of jokes.
In spite of the “stringent IT policies” almost all IT professionals (esp. consultants) do the same set of things at office. They check all their mail accounts every two minutes hoping that some of their counterparts would have forwarded a mail. Thanks to numerous proxies, chatting is still considered to be one of the favorite time pass. They buzz every person online and in very desperate situations send offline messages also. Some intellectuals among us also rack their brains in solving online puzzles. People of this league have klueless mornings, klueless afternoons and klueless evenings!!
Some furzi consultants like me read novels as PDF so that the client thinks you are racking your brain with some user guide or implementation manual. Some other intellectual consultants keep themselves updated with the latest happenings round the globe. Other esteemed ways of killing time are downloading songs, checking daily horoscope, searching for status messages etc.
A couple of precious office hours are also reserved for managing the hard earned money. Share market, online investments, online bill payments, internet banking form an integral part of work. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. So after all these tiring hours of surfing, consultants add some spice to their office life by conducting meetings. And thus another couple of hours fly by. And if still some time is left, people like me update their blogs.
P.S : A couple of words are borrowed from Tushar's repository of jokes.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Kabhi Kabhi
My favourite lines.....
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hain
Ki zindagi teri zulfon ki narm chhaon main guzarne pati
to shadab ho bhi sakti thi.
Yeh ranj-o-gham ki siyahi jo dil pe chhayi hain
Teri nazar ki shuaon main kho bhi sakti thi.
Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hain
Ki tu nahin, tera gham teri justjoo bhi nahin.
Guzar rahi hain kuchh iss tarah zindagi jaise,
isse kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahin.
Na koi raah, na manzil, na roshni ka suraag
Bhatak rahin hai andheron main zindagi meri.
Inhi andheron main reh jaoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon meri hum-nafas, magar yoonhi
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hai.
by Sahir Ludhianavi
For lesser mortals like me
Shadab=fresh,delightful
Ranj=distress,grief
Justjoo=desire
Hum-nafas=companion,friend
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hain
Ki zindagi teri zulfon ki narm chhaon main guzarne pati
to shadab ho bhi sakti thi.
Yeh ranj-o-gham ki siyahi jo dil pe chhayi hain
Teri nazar ki shuaon main kho bhi sakti thi.
Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hain
Ki tu nahin, tera gham teri justjoo bhi nahin.
Guzar rahi hain kuchh iss tarah zindagi jaise,
isse kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahin.
Na koi raah, na manzil, na roshni ka suraag
Bhatak rahin hai andheron main zindagi meri.
Inhi andheron main reh jaoonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoon meri hum-nafas, magar yoonhi
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hai.
by Sahir Ludhianavi
For lesser mortals like me
Shadab=fresh,delightful
Ranj=distress,grief
Justjoo=desire
Hum-nafas=companion,friend
Monday, December 3, 2007
Practice what you preach
“There are always two ways of doing a thing. One is the easy way and the other is the correct way & you should always choose the correct way.” I had been told this umpteen times right from my childhood. Being receptive to 20 years of continuous preaching on the same lines has affected me so deeply that I always tend to choose whatever I think is the correct way, irrespective of whether it is the easy way or not, irrespective of the fact whether others will approve of my deeds or not. The conventional way may not always be the correct way. But today the people who taught me this are not following it themselves.
On deeper analysis and a bit of retrospection, I realized that there is not a single person who practices what he preaches. Teachers preach education as development of a complete personality but appreciate it only on the scale of marks scores. Politicians preach equality and value for talent but are hell bent for reservations in premier educational institutes on the basis of caste. Women will fight for their rights of equality with their male counterparts, will participate in rallies shouting ‘women are at par with men’ but at the same time will expect that seats would be reserved for them in buses and trains, there should be separate queues for women etc. Even I am no exception to this. I always tell my friends “you should blog because you like writing & your posts may inspire someone or may bring a smile on someone’s face and not for comments”. But the fact is that some where deep within I also crave for comments. My role model always taught me to choose the correct way but there are times when he himself chooses the conventional (or easier) way.
It’s always easier said that done. So one should realize the difference between idealistic principles and realistic principles and preach only what he/she can practice. Because the day we realize the difference between the preaching and practices of our role models, all our ideals suddenly seem null and void. And you never know...you could also be a role model for someone.
On deeper analysis and a bit of retrospection, I realized that there is not a single person who practices what he preaches. Teachers preach education as development of a complete personality but appreciate it only on the scale of marks scores. Politicians preach equality and value for talent but are hell bent for reservations in premier educational institutes on the basis of caste. Women will fight for their rights of equality with their male counterparts, will participate in rallies shouting ‘women are at par with men’ but at the same time will expect that seats would be reserved for them in buses and trains, there should be separate queues for women etc. Even I am no exception to this. I always tell my friends “you should blog because you like writing & your posts may inspire someone or may bring a smile on someone’s face and not for comments”. But the fact is that some where deep within I also crave for comments. My role model always taught me to choose the correct way but there are times when he himself chooses the conventional (or easier) way.
It’s always easier said that done. So one should realize the difference between idealistic principles and realistic principles and preach only what he/she can practice. Because the day we realize the difference between the preaching and practices of our role models, all our ideals suddenly seem null and void. And you never know...you could also be a role model for someone.
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