Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security. But still uncertainty and insecurity are the greatest cause of anxiety for most of us and I am no exception. I know life is dull and boring without some element of uncertainty but life becomes unbearable with too much of uncertainty in every aspect of one’s life.
I am no saint and cannot be happy without worldly pleasures. I used to derive happiness and satisfaction from petty worldly things like eating good food, watching a good movie, spending my half month’s salary in shopping uselessly…,…,… But now there is uncertainty even in these petty worldly things. I am never sure as to when will I get my next GOOD meal (in spite of being paid decently)…I am never sure as to when will I get to watch a GOOD movie (with all bollywood directors’ paying attention to sets and star cast instead of story and performance). All these uncertainties became a part and parcel of my life the day I was deputed to Chennai. To make the matters worse, there is uncertainty in the period of this deputation also…may be 2 months...6 months...1 year...or till the time I am tied to this company. You are mistaken if you think my quota of uncertainty ends here. My role in this project is also ‘uncertain’.
I would have still been happy if uncertainty had limited itself to just this much. Every other day my friends/relatives ask me “what if this doesn’t work out for you and your family”… “What if you have to leave your dreams midway”… “What if he is not happy and satisfied”… “What if………”
But in spite of all these uncertainties I am sure of one thing. I know what would be the epitaph on my grave
“Her body lies somewhere here!!”
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
My core competancy
Now its time to show some creativity as a software engineer. Four years of college and four months of job I have been practicing the only quality of a software engineer. However first I will continue with my post and at the end of it I am sure you will appreciate my creativity.
Some quotes which would have made me famous had I been born some 2000 years back…
“If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.”
“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”
“Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.”
“Wasting time is an important part of living.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.”
“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry”
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
“I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on”
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”
“It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.”
“A man’s looks are measured by the depth of his pockets.”
“Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.”
“A bugless program is an abstract theoretical concept”
“There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.”
“It takes a minute to have a crush; an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone...”
So now you must have known about my core competency (creativity) “COPY PASTE”!!!
Some quotes which would have made me famous had I been born some 2000 years back…
“If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.”
“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”
“Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.”
“Wasting time is an important part of living.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.”
“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry”
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
“I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on”
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”
“It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.”
“A man’s looks are measured by the depth of his pockets.”
“Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.”
“A bugless program is an abstract theoretical concept”
“There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.”
“It takes a minute to have a crush; an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone...”
So now you must have known about my core competency (creativity) “COPY PASTE”!!!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
No tears for me please...
Dont shed a tear for me when I go away,
Whereever I go, I will be happy to see someone happy.
Dont shed a tear for me when I m in pain,
for your smile is the only cure I know.
Dont shed a tear for me when I m not alive,
just think of me
for I can die a thousand deaths if I m alive in your thoughts
Whereever I go, I will be happy to see someone happy.
Dont shed a tear for me when I m in pain,
for your smile is the only cure I know.
Dont shed a tear for me when I m not alive,
just think of me
for I can die a thousand deaths if I m alive in your thoughts
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A lot can happen for a cup of coffee!!
These days I don’t have much work at office. But yesterday was an exception. I had NO work at office but still had to sit there for 10 long hours. I checked all my mails every 2 mins with a hope that there will be some lucky moment when I would receive a mail which would help me kill at least 5 mins. I tried buzzing everyone online in my list but it seemed only I was unlucky enough to have time to chat. So even that was not of much help. Before this day I had not thought that there might come a time when I would be wishing this. But I seriously wished I had some exam the next day so that I could at least have something to study. While I was still struggling as to how to kill time, I heard one of my colleagues say “we have a meeting starting in another 5 mins”.
Another colleague: “what’s the agenda of this meeting? We had no prior information!!”
Previous colleague: “this meeting is being held without notice to discuss some very urgent issues.”
The agenda of that meeting was “how should we kill the remaining 5 hrs!!”
The meeting lasted for 4 hrs (which included two coffee breaks of 30 mins each) and as it goes with all meetings we came to a conclusion when we were tired of racking our brains. We decided that we would ‘somehow manage killing time’ (like all meetings the original problem was still unsolved!!) and then treat ourselves for this great achievement by a cup of coffee at the nearest barista.
We decided that instead of getting down at our stop, we would get down 2 stops ahead, take an auto from there to the Besant Nagar Barista. After successfully killing 10 hrs we left the office premises only to find that it was drizzling (being optimistic!!). The rain was a matter of concern for some moments but then we thought we should not let these petty things stop us from having our share of fun and excitement. Little did we know at that time that we were going to have much more excitement than we had planned for.
We happily crossed our stop but as we were nearing the place we had panned to get down, it started raining heavily. And by the time the bus stopped, it was pouring down so heavily that it was impossible to even get down from the bus. Dejected by all means we decided we would get down at our stop when the bus would return after the last stop. Like school kids who miss to get down at their stop we inquired the driver whether he would return back to office via same route. It was not difficult convincing him to take the same route back n drop us at our stop.
We were already feeling like losers. On our way back, by the time we neared our ‘initial planned stop’ the rain had stopped. So finally we got down and treated ourselves with the hard earned coffee!!
Another colleague: “what’s the agenda of this meeting? We had no prior information!!”
Previous colleague: “this meeting is being held without notice to discuss some very urgent issues.”
The agenda of that meeting was “how should we kill the remaining 5 hrs!!”
The meeting lasted for 4 hrs (which included two coffee breaks of 30 mins each) and as it goes with all meetings we came to a conclusion when we were tired of racking our brains. We decided that we would ‘somehow manage killing time’ (like all meetings the original problem was still unsolved!!) and then treat ourselves for this great achievement by a cup of coffee at the nearest barista.
We decided that instead of getting down at our stop, we would get down 2 stops ahead, take an auto from there to the Besant Nagar Barista. After successfully killing 10 hrs we left the office premises only to find that it was drizzling (being optimistic!!). The rain was a matter of concern for some moments but then we thought we should not let these petty things stop us from having our share of fun and excitement. Little did we know at that time that we were going to have much more excitement than we had planned for.
We happily crossed our stop but as we were nearing the place we had panned to get down, it started raining heavily. And by the time the bus stopped, it was pouring down so heavily that it was impossible to even get down from the bus. Dejected by all means we decided we would get down at our stop when the bus would return after the last stop. Like school kids who miss to get down at their stop we inquired the driver whether he would return back to office via same route. It was not difficult convincing him to take the same route back n drop us at our stop.
We were already feeling like losers. On our way back, by the time we neared our ‘initial planned stop’ the rain had stopped. So finally we got down and treated ourselves with the hard earned coffee!!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Random Thoughts
Toady’s breaking news on all news channels was “happy birthday shahrukh” and all music channels were flooded with SRK songs. While browsing the channels I happened to hear these lines “dhoop hai kabhi, kabhi hai chaon zindagi…” How true these words are. Yesterday I saw it all.
Yesterday was a very eventful day as it marked my completion of glorious 50 days in Chennai. I might not have encountered so many ups and downs in these 50 days as I had on the 50th day. My day at office started with my fight to know my password. Yeah it’s actually a sort of war to get one’s new password if one happens to be a forgetful person like me. I somehow forgot my company’s internal database password. When I sent a request to reset my database password, the admin guys reset all my passwords and sent the new ones on my company mail account. In other words they had locked the house and safely placed the keys inside that house itself and were asking me to get the keys from there and open the house. My lady luck was mocking at me when I stood there petrified, gazing a screen which said “incorrect password or login” and the admin guys adamant on the fact that my passwords have been sent to my mail and that they can do no more.
Just when all this had irritated me to the extent of leaving this company where people can be so dumb, I saw my bank account credited with my salary. My happiness knew no bounds and I was on the top of the world. “After all the company is not this intolerable even if it sent me to this land of unknowns and even if they play with my passwords” was all I was thinking. This golden moment is enough to drive me to work for another 10 days and then I would again start cribbing and waiting eagerly for 1st.
I thought my share of “dhoop n chaon” for the day was over and so dialed the number (the most dialed no of my cell) and then it was all dark for me. I had never felt so low and dejected and lost in my life. And now I only wish that the ‘dhoop-chaon’ cycle continues and I can see some way out of this darkness.
Yesterday was a very eventful day as it marked my completion of glorious 50 days in Chennai. I might not have encountered so many ups and downs in these 50 days as I had on the 50th day. My day at office started with my fight to know my password. Yeah it’s actually a sort of war to get one’s new password if one happens to be a forgetful person like me. I somehow forgot my company’s internal database password. When I sent a request to reset my database password, the admin guys reset all my passwords and sent the new ones on my company mail account. In other words they had locked the house and safely placed the keys inside that house itself and were asking me to get the keys from there and open the house. My lady luck was mocking at me when I stood there petrified, gazing a screen which said “incorrect password or login” and the admin guys adamant on the fact that my passwords have been sent to my mail and that they can do no more.
Just when all this had irritated me to the extent of leaving this company where people can be so dumb, I saw my bank account credited with my salary. My happiness knew no bounds and I was on the top of the world. “After all the company is not this intolerable even if it sent me to this land of unknowns and even if they play with my passwords” was all I was thinking. This golden moment is enough to drive me to work for another 10 days and then I would again start cribbing and waiting eagerly for 1st.
I thought my share of “dhoop n chaon” for the day was over and so dialed the number (the most dialed no of my cell) and then it was all dark for me. I had never felt so low and dejected and lost in my life. And now I only wish that the ‘dhoop-chaon’ cycle continues and I can see some way out of this darkness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)